In Case You Change Your Mind
by LillySteam44
Summary: Theo Nott spent far too much time studying Ancient Runes with Hermione Granger, and when the war arrived, he had a decision to make.
Despite the fact Theo had been the one to win the tiny bottle of Felix Felicis, Hermione found herself smiling as she left Potions that Monday afternoon. Professor Slughorn was just as biased as Professor Snape had been, but he was certainly a better teacher, if only because he was much less intimidating. Her good mood, however, was soured by Harry's obsession with Malfoy.

"We have to make sure he can't use it," Harry prattled on, as he, Hermione and Ron made their way back to Gryffindor Tower. Hermione resisted the urge to roll her eyes at Harry's continued accusations against Malfoy.

"Slytherins aren't known for sharing, Harry," she reminded him. "But I have Ancient Runes with Theo tomorrow. I can see if he has plans for it."

"Since when are you on a first name basis with any of the snakes?" Ron said, a disgusted expression flitting across his face.

"Since he asked me to. Not every Slytherin is evil, and Theo's been nice to me," she told them.

"Except when he snickered at your blood status today," Ron shot back. Hermione couldn't help but notice it was the same tone he used when he found out she was still writing to Viktor, and she felt the bite of her temper start to flare up.

"Then maybe I won't help validate your idea that Malfoy is a Death Eater," she finally snapped, and immediately changed her direction towards the sixth floor. Normally she might have went straight for the library, but instead she made her way towards an empty classroom. She'd started frequenting the classroom when Theo had asked for her help in Ancient Runes. Sometimes it was nicer to sit here when she wanted to be alone. After about a half hour of reading, she heard the squeaky door open.

"Fight with Weasley again?" Theo asked when he saw her already settled in.

"Is it that easy to tell?" she asked, lowering her book with a frown.

"You're early, which only happens when you're upset, and it's always Weasley. What'd he say this time?"

"I don't really want to talk about it," she told him in a flat voice.

"You shouldn't let him get to you like that. You're better than him. He's just taking advantage of your kindness."

"Like you're one to talk. I know you're only lowering yourself to talk to someone like me because I help you with Ancient Runes," she countered, giving him a wry smile.

"Speaking of which, can we go over variations? I still keep mixing things up," he asked. She fished another book out of her bag, along with a scrap of parchment to mark her place in the book she had been reading.

"Sure."

* * *

Theo had tried really hard not to cringe when Hermione had talked about herself like that. He'd never say it aloud- but, therein lies the rub. He couldn't ever bring himself to tell her the truth, that he didn't need help in Ancient Runes, or any class, for that matter. It was merely an excuse to hear her talk. Everything about it; the way her lips formed words, the way she regularly pushed her mass of hair out of her eyes, the way her eyes flitted from the page to his face; turned him on. He wanted nothing more than to bury his cock in her while she talked about anything, as long as it wasn't vapid bullshit, and he didn't think Hermione was capable of it.

At least as long as she wasn't talking about Potter or, worse, Weasley.

Suddenly, he was acutely aware she was staring at him expectantly. He cursed himself for not paying attention to her words.

"Sorry, I drifted a little. What?'

"Do you daydream this much in class? No wonder you need so much help," she teased. "I was talking about Potions this morning."

"Offering your congratulations, no doubt," he teased back. She bit her lip, and he had to force some of thoughts that arose from his mind.

"Harry is worried-"

"Can you actually go more than a day without mentioning Potter?" He hadn't meant to snap at her, and a sinking feeling started to fill his chest when her uncertain expression morphed into a scowl.

"Excuse me for having friends who are willing to be seen in public with me," she replied. She hadn't raised her voice, or snapped at all. As calm as ever, she started putting her books back into her bag. "I'm sure Ernie or Padma will be willing to help you if you need it in the future," she told him as she got up. Theo didn't think he could feel any worse than he did that day.

At least until he saw Hermione entwined with McLaggan at Slughorn's Christmas party.

He didn't see her again outside of classes until a day in mid January when he'd decided to have a taste of the Felix Felicis he'd won at the beginning of the year. Draco had offered, begged and threatened him for it, but he hadn't really wanted to support Draco's mission. Since it was just turning dusk, he only took a few drops of the molten gold colored liquid, enough for an hour or two of luck.

The effect was immediate. It wasn't a voice in his head that guided him, but urges and notions distinct from his normal logic. He had a sudden desire to get out of his dorm and head towards the Ancient Runes corridor. Instead of putting the vial back into the hidden compartment in his trunk, he dropped it in his pocket before heading out of the Slytherin common room. It wasn't until he'd gotten close to the classroom where he used to meet Hermione that it clicked into place.

Soft sobs came from the room as he eased open the door, which surprisingly didn't squeak like normal. Hermione was sitting on the ledge in front of a window sill instead of the chair she normally had, and instead of having her nose in a book, her head was in her hands.

"Hermione?" his voice was quiet and even.

"Go away. I-" she lifted her head from her slumped over position. "Oh. It's you." Felix pushed him to go and sit beside her.

"Fight with Weasley again?" he asked, and she let of a choked snort of laughter.

"Is it that obvious?" she replied, sarcasm heavy in her voice, even through her tears. He let silence hang in the air for a moment, and after a pause, she let her head rest on his shoulder. He slipped his hand in hers and entwined their fingers. "I'm scared," she finally admitted.

"Everyone is," he replied in the same even tone. "Nothing's going to be easy for a while."

"Nothing's been easy since I got to this bloody school," she reminded him. "When I was a first year, that day that Harry and Ron saved me, I was starting to think it'd be easier if I never found out I'm a witch. Sometimes, I really wonder if a well placed memory charm isn't a bad idea."

"Of course it's a bad idea. You're _Hermione Granger_ , the brightest witch in our year, and-"

"A mudblood," she interjected. She wrenched herself from his side, forcing her hand away from his, even though he easily let go. He jumped up to look her evenly in the eyes.

"No, I- I don't think that. Not of you," he told her. She glared at him. "I was raised to believe a lot of awful things. But you- you proved everyone one of them wrong." After a moment, her gaze softened.

"You could join the Order, if you wanted. I know Dumbledore would-"

"I can't," he said quickly. "My dad-" Theo couldn't avoid the crack in his voice, even with Felix's help. "He'll die in Azkaban if I don't cooperate this summer."

"Things really are bad, aren't they?" her voice quavered like she might start crying again. He put a hand on her cheek, and she leaned into him slightly.

"I want to protect you," he told her. It was against his better judgement, but he pulled the tiny flask of Felix Felicis out of his pocket with his free hand and held it out to her. Understanding dawned in her eyes, as she tried to push it back towards him.

"I can't- It's yours," she tried to tell him.

"It's only a matter of time before Draco tries to steal it, anyways. I'd rather luck be on your side than his," he told her. Reluctantly, she accepted it and slipped it into her pocket. Suddenly, she'd closed the gap between them and pressed her lips to his, leaving his hand hovering in midair. Without hesitating, he reacted to her and pulled her closer, into the kiss. She pulled back after a few moments, and looked at him with an expression he couldn't explain if he was given a hundred years.

"Think about joining the Order?" she asked, and he could only nod. She gave him a sad smile and kissed him again.

After that night, he met her in the same classroom at least once a week without the pretense of school work. Usually she was calm, with the glint of intelligence in her eyes as they talked of everything but the coming war. Sometimes, though, she was tearful and shaking, unable to talk about anything, including the stupid war. His favorite days were the ones where she kissed him, and stayed with him as late as curfew would allow.

After Dumbledore's death, Theo felt like he couldn't sit still until he saw her again, knew for certain she was safe, but she never came back to the empty classroom. The day before he got on the train home, he found a note, along with a coin, that almost looked exactly like a Sickle. Written in small, neat script were the words, 'In case you change your mind', along with a short instruction on how to use it. He smiled sadly at the cleverness of it, as an uneasy weight settled in his chest that he might never see Hermione ever again.

He'd lasted until a week before his early July birthday, when he received an owl. The Ministry seal on the letter added to the weight in his chest. He didn't need to read the letter once he saw the Azkaban header. His father was dead. He dug through his coin pouch until he found the fake Sickle. He was grateful for her quick response. Grateful that she was still alive.

The Order would have as much help as he could give.

Potter had been the first one in the Order to trust him, besides Hermione, the very first time she brought him around to the Burrow. Weasley, er, Ron, still eyed him suspiciously, but Theo suspected it was more out of jealousy from the attention Hermione gave him.

More than once, Ron sent a smug look over at him when the three had their heads together, planning something. Theo did his best to ignore him, but he started to lose his patience while he sat in the kitchen of the Burrow and tried to give Hermione space.

"Oh, don't pay attention to my idiot brother," the Weasley girl, Jenny? Gina?, told him, sliding into a seat next to him and placing a two butterbeers on the table, one for each of them. "He doesn't understand it's a lost cause."

"You mean, for him?" The girl nodded in response.

"He kind of missed his chance when he started dating Lavender," she explained. "She got over him after that. Though that might have had something to do with you. I don't think Ron knows about how often she was going to see you. I'm pretty sure I'm the only one she told about her night meetings."

"They're going to run off and do something stupid, aren't they?" he said, mostly musing to himself. She sighed.

"They always do. In about three days, expect a teary pseudo break-up from Hermione. Harry did the same thing to me before school ended," she told him. "I wouldn't listen though, not really."

He finally brought himself to actually open his drink.

"Well, to stupid and brave choices," he said, offering his glass for a quiet toast.

"Both ours and theirs," she conceded and brought her glass to clink softly against his. After a sip, she looked at him carefully. Before she could say anything, the three seemed to break from their huddle, and Hermione made her way over to Theo, and kissed him on the cheek.

"You two look like you're getting along," Hermione said with a genuine smile in her voice. She took the bottle out of his hand to take a sip before handing it back. Theo had to make himself not search for hidden meaning in her words. Normally, he had to pick through three or more meanings or agendas with everything muttered. He had to remind himself Hermione was too direct for that.

"We're in the same place," the Weasley girl said. "Soon to be left behind by our life loves."

"No need to be dramatic, Ginny," Hermione said. "I'm not going to do what Harry did you."

"You mean you aren't going to run off, and leave your new love all by his lonesome, while you do something dangerous?" _Ginny_ replied, with an innocent tone that made Theo think she wouldn't have been out of place in Slytherin. Hermione glared at the redhead for a moment.

"Everything is dangerous these days," Hermione finally replied. "Harry would be really mad if he knew I told you this, but you should revive the DA. You and Neville. Maybe this time, include some Slytherins." She reached out and took Theo's free hand.

"Hey Mione, Mum needs help in the garden," Ron called out from the next room, and she sighed, but went anyways.

"There's no way the DA will trust me, is there?" he asked Ginny, still sitting next to him.

"Probably not. Neville, he's a good guy and would probably accept you, but I don't know that anyone else would," she conceded.

"I thought so. I'll find a way to help, though. I'd do anything to protect Hermione," he told her.

* * *

After the wedding, Theo didn't see Hermione before school started, despite frequent exchanges through the coin. Mrs. Weasley hugged him when he delivered the news that the three were safe, but he couldn't take comfort in it. The weight in his chest had only lessened for a little when he was seeing Hermione regularly, but it came back, and it crushed nearly all of the fragile hope he'd built up.

School was hell, as he figured it would be, but worse than he could possibly imagine. The only moments of anything close to happiness came when he felt the coin heat up in her pocket. He'd find a moment to check, and find a way to pass a note along to a DA member who he could trust, normally Neville during Charms. Theo knew better than to smile when a new piece of graffiti, written in Gryffindor red, would appear, reading along the lines of "Potter Lives!" but they only appeared a day or two after he'd relay a message. He was sure it was Ginny's way of giving him hope, as much as the members of the resistance.

The first time he ignored any pretense of cover was in November, when the coin grew hot while he was in the middle of Potions. As soon class was over, he made a beeline for where Ginny normally sat with Luna in the courtyard, to offer an alibi for anyone who wanted one.

"Ron left them," he blurted out. "They're still out camping somewhere, but Ron stormed out."

"My brother did what!?" Ginny nearly yelled, before remembering to regulate her volume. "Are you sure?"

He held out the coin to her, still displaying the last message. She nodded, closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"Keep it to yourself for now, okay? I'll write my mum later and see if she knows anything," she said. "Thanks for telling me directly."

The first time anyone slipped him a note was almost a week later, a small scrap of parchment ended up in his bag sometime between Potions and Transfiguration, and simply said, "He's safe" in round, bubbly letters. A sigh managed to escape his lips, and he burnt the paper with a whispered spell. He never thought he'd see the day where he was glad Weasley was okay.

"What was that?" Draco asked, sliding into the seat next to him.

"Some sort of prank," he said. "I don't pay attention to it anymore. The Weasley girl has been targeting me."

"Right."

The first time he sees her again is over Easter. He was going over paperwork to settle some of the family estate in what was his father's study, when a loud, familiar crack came from his entrance hall. He rushed to the top of the stairs and just barely saw Draco's white blonde hair over before he got to close.

"Prat! Couldn't be polite and use the door could-" he stopped short when he came close enough to see two girls, dirty and one, Hermione!, bleeding. It was all he could do not to trip over his own feet hurrying down the stairs.

"The other two, they got out," Draco gasped out. He looked as though he wasn't sure what he could do. "I couldn't leave her, not with Bella."

Theo couldn't stop himself from kneeling over Hermione, pushing one of her curls from her face. Her chest rose and fell, if shallower than it should, but she was definitely breathing. The source of the blood caught his eye, he couldn't keep himself from cringing at the slur now carved into her arm. He took the chance to glance at the other girl, Luna. He'd seen her just before everyone left for the holiday, and it hurt to see her so dirty, a dull look in her eyes.

"It's okay, Theo," Hermione said, so quietly he wouldn't have heard her if he wasn't right next to her. "She tried to-" She fell into a coughing fit, and Theo had no idea how to help. "But I lied, Theo. I was stronger."

"Jilly!" Theo called out, and his old nursemaid elf appeared with a light pop. "Take care of these girls. This one," he paused, his hand still on Hermione, "I want her to be Lady Nott one day."

Hermione tried to protest, because of course she would, but once she started to cough, the old elf wouldn't hear another word about it.

"Jilly will come back for the blonde girl," the elf announced.

Theo still remained kneeling where he was for a moment.

"Can you stay?" He asked, not looking up at Draco.

"I have to get back. I can only hope no one's noticed me gone yet," he replied. "Will you- owls are dangerous these days, but-"

"Come here, Draco," Luna said, speaking for the first time. When he did, she put what looked like a Galleon in his hand. It clicked for Theo that it might be a similar design to the one he shared with Hermione. "This is my original one. I'll send a message when I'm better."

Theo could only see a Slytherin expression on his face, a mask for his real emotions. Without another word, he apparated away. Theo sighed and started to get up. Jilly would likely be busy with Hermione for a while.

"Are you hungry, Luna?" He asked, and offered a hand to help her up.

"I'm terribly hungry. Draco brought me food when he could, but I always split it with Mr. Ollivander."

For the rest of spring break, Hermione didn't want to talk about what had happened at Malfoy Manor. While Theo couldn't blame her, it was almost worse to wonder what torture she'd experienced at Bellatrix Lestrange's wand point. He could certainly guess Cruciatus, judging by her after effects, and Jilly had told him the cuts on her arm, that formed that horrible word, were cursed. It was more than likely that she'd have the scar forever.

He'd tried to request time off, but Hermione insisted he had to go back, she needed to find Ron and Harry, and they all needed to prepare for a coming battle. All at once, when she'd mentioned the possibility of an outright battle, Theo felt guilty for not taking a bigger role within the DA, and recruit other Slytherins who were interested. If he was going to go back, and he was, because she had asked him to, then he would put in more effort.

Luna recovered quickly during the days he had left at home, and had gone out more than once to find Ginny, and likely the rest of the Weasleys. The only thing she'd told Theo was that Draco was safe, though he was sure she told Hermione a great deal more. Everytime she'd come back to the Nott estate, the two girls would lock themselves in Hermione's room and both refused to tell him what they'd talked about.

"I have to leave tomorrow," Hermione declared one night, after she'd managed to eat most of a full meal. Theo had tried to protest, but he knew it was no good. It was the same as the summer before, when he spent time with her at the Burrow. Time with her would come to an end, and there was a greater than good chance he'd never see her again. This time, instead of toasting to bravery and stupidity with Ginny, Luna warned him that grief would attract Wrackspurts, which was significantly less comforting, though he appreciated her concern.

It almost hurt worse than losing his father to see Hermione disappear with a pop, holding Luna's hand. It set a part of his heart aflame; he wasn't sure he'd ever felt anything like it before, but he imagined it was what Gryffindor courage felt like. It didn't lessen during the overnight wait and by the time he'd reached Platform 9 ¾ the next morning, he didn't even bother searching out the compartment where the rest of his Slytherin classmates were likely already lounging. Instead, he quickly found the compartment where Neville had already claimed, though Ginny and Luna hadn't shown up yet.

"I need to do more," Theo told Neville. "There's something coming, and we need to work together."

When the compartment door opened a few minutes later, Theo expected to see Ginny or Luna, but a girl with yellow blonde hair he vaguely recognised as Hannah Abbott had been the one to show her face. He was glad when she didn't turn up her nose, or sneer at him when she saw him.

"Oh, hello Nott," she said as Neville helped her with her trunk.

"You can call me Theo, if you wanted," he offered. He even wasn't offended when she looked towards Neville, who nodded.

"Then you should call me Hannah," she conceded, before settling in the seat right next to Neville.

Before long, Ginny and Luna had joined them as well. They were both smiling, and laughing at some joke he hadn't heard, and didn't change in the slightest seeing him there.

"She's safe, you know," Luna told him after she'd settled in herself, and that was all she'd said on the subject. He was so grateful for the news, he chose to ignore the realization that dawned on Hannah's face. He did, however, file away the knowing look she gave Neville.

In whispered tones, the five of them discussed DA plans for the upcoming term, and the others received the idea of recruiting Slytherins along with the other Houses much better than Theo expected.

The fire in his heart grew a little bit, but he felt no more hope by the time the train stopped, and he said his goodbyes to his fellow DA members. He slipped into a carriage with his fellow Slytherins, specifically Draco, Daphne and Blaise.

"Where were you on the train?" Daphne asked, as the carriage started to move.

"NEWT prep," he said simply, hoping they'd drop the subject.

"With Longbottom and his lot?" Blaise added. His voice intoned a question, but his grin left nothing to be answered. Theo had no idea how to respond. Immediately, he was worried he was already found out, and going to be labeled a blood traitor.

"Don't be mean," Daphne scolded the the darker boy, next to her. He must have looked as panicked as he felt. "Draco told us. We're in."

For the first time since school began, hope started to build in his chest again.

* * *

It was obvious that a battle had arrived at Hogwarts when Harry, Ron and Hermione appeared in the Room of Requirement. Theo didn't really care though, at least while he rushed to her. His normal control over his emotions is temporarily gone, and he swept her up into a quick kiss. The first one he'd ever shared with her in front of anyone else. When he broke apart from her, someone cleared their throat, and Theo almost felt anger rise. He turned his head to see Ron standing there.

"Um, thanks," the redhead boy said. "For taking care of Hermione after- after what happened."

Theo only nodded at him, and he turned his complete attention to her. Hermione.

"I love you," he blurted out, more afraid than he'd ever been that he'd never see her again.

"I love you too," she replied immediately, and he kissed her again. All too soon, she was out of his arms again and on a mission to do something dangerous. He tried desperately to pull himself together, but he couldn't seem to manage to focus until Ginny put a hand on his right shoulder. She didn't say anything, but he understood. She was in the same place he was, and she didn't even have the privilege of a potential last goodbye. He brought his left hand up to touch hers, and smiled at her.

After that, he didn't really register anything new. He was only worried about not get hit, and getting as many younger students out as he possibly could. Slughorn let them all use the fire in his office, and he sent Daphne ahead to Nott Manor to make sure kids made it through okay. A second year had just disappeared when Susan, of all people, appeared in the doorway, all the way down in the dungeons.

"Theo, they need you. Harry, they're saying no one can find him," she said, her voice shaking so badly it was a miracle he could understand her. He took only the briefest second to look back at Blaise, who simply nodded, and he was out the door, on Susan's heels.

"Where's Hermione? Where's Ginny?" He found himself asking, despite not understanding a word that came out of her mouth. She led him to the courtyard, and gestured towards a crowd of people, where he could see the familiar flaming red hair of at least three Weasleys. Without a second thought, he ran towards them.

"Oh, thank Merlin," Ginny said as he got closer. "Have you seen anyone else?"

"Susan got me from the dungeons. Blaise and Daphne are helping kids get out. I haven't seen anyone other DA," he explained quickly. "I heard Harry is-"

"Harry is fine. Harry is always fine," Ginny cut him off. Neville, just behind her, put his hand on her shoulder.

"It'll be okay, Gin. It looks like the Death Eaters are approaching. We should be the ones to meet them," he said, looking not just at Ginny for the last part, but at Theo too. Theo nodded, and tried to summon the Gryffindor bravery that had been lit in his heart over Easter.

Too easily, his eyes were drawn to the crowd behind the Dark Lord. There were too many faces he recognised, too many men he considered friend, too many women who'd been eager to help him and his father when his mother died. He lowered his gaze, and he wasn't sure all the Gryffindor courage in the world would allow him to raise his wand on any of them.

It was easier, once the Dark Lord declared that Harry Potter was dead. All his hope was drained, but it was his job to hold Ginny back, keep her from rushing at the enemy to do any of the caring and hateful things running through her mind. It was easier to focus on her, and not Mr. Goyle, who'd let him ride his first proper broom at Greg's fifth birthday; not Mrs. Greengrass, who'd insisted he call her Aunt Marigold; not Mrs. Malfoy, so much like a second mother to him, even before his mother's death. He could ignore the things the Dark Lord was saying until-

"Draco!" Mr. Malfoy's voice called out. Theo couldn't keep himself from looking up, and he realized Draco had come out of the castle with a great number of students, and had been standing back a small distance.

In that moment, even though it wasn't him that they had called, it was as if he was no longer holding Ginny back, but he was holding on to her too keep from stepping forward.

"Please Draco, come," Mrs. Malfoy added, and he felt Ginny's grip tighten on his arm. She was now holding him back, and he wasn't sure he wanted her to anymore. He tried not to watch, as Draco stepped forward, Luna just behind him started to reach out to stop him, but stopped herself.

He barely realized Neville had gone forward, as he watched Mrs. Malfoy guide Draco away. He couldn't make himself look anywhere else when he saw a flash of steel out of the corner of his eye. After that, so much happened so quickly, he wasn't sure he completely understood what happened. The important thing, however, was that Harry _jumped out of Hagrid's arms_. Before he could manage to wrap his mind around that, it seemed like in an instant, the Dark Lord laid dead.

Nearly a year after what the Prophet had dubbed the "final battle" nothing had yet settled back into anything that felt like normal. While Kingsley had declared any DA member who had participated in the Dark- _Voldemort_ 's destruction would be given a pass on their NEWTs, which included the majority of the 7th year class, but at the same time, McGonagall had offered the very same class the opportunity to return to Hogwarts in September. Hermione had chosen to go back, so Theo chose to go back. Even taking classes again didn't make anything feel normal again.

It was nice, though, to spend time with Hermione out of the cover of a dusty classroom. He held her hand every chance he got, in the hallways, in the Great Hall, in class, when she'd let him.

"When do you think we'll visit your parents' grave this summer?" She asked about a week before their tests, as he walked her back to Gryffindor Tower.

"Visit my-? Why would you want to visit my parents?" He asked.

"It's tradition, isn't it? I read that it's customary to pay respects to a Wizard's parents, living or deceased."

"That only happens when a couple gets engaged," he corrected, and it dawned on him with her cat like grin she already knew that. He smiled and squeezed her hand.

"We can visit them as soon as we get off the train," he told her. "And then we can visit Gringotts. Most of my family's heirloom jewelry is gaudy and tacky, though. I might have to buy something new."


End file.
